When the Days are Wearying

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Yesterday was an extremely discouraging day for me. I went to bed thinking about all that I did – or tried to do – and how much it all felt pointless.

The laundry that I worked so hard to get done that will just need to be washed again. Tomorrow.

The 12,000 things that I picked up off the floor every minute of the day so that the baby wouldn’t find them only to have him choke on a minuscule piece of dried, crusty food that he picked off the side of the chair leg.

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The long conversation that I had with my older two about kindness and the way we do and don’t treat people in our family that I felt like they finally really “got,” only to walk upstairs to nurse the baby and hear them start shouting at one another and hear the telltale SMACK as one hit the other in retaliation for whatever the perceived wrong was.

The food that burned to a crisp on the stove while I changed the baby’s diaper.

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Yesterday (or, let’s be honest here, a LOT of days), it feels like I work so hard, so long at so little. What I teach is forgotten, what I clean is messy again, what I try and prevent, 4 other things happen in their place. For someone who is very good at working towards a GOAL, it’s so incredibly frustrating sometimes.

And yesterday, I felt totally defeated.

Totally and utterly defeated.

But today I woke up with Galatians 6:9 on my mind – so much so that I’ve copied it down and posted it on the fridge next to the sink.

“Let us not grow weary of doing good. . . “

And as I let those words pour over me this morning as I scrubbed the breakfast dishes, I was reminded that I’m not in this for an end-of-day result. On some days, I may not see the “good” from what I’ve done. It may not feel like I’m accomplishing anything. For days. Or weeks. Or months. Or years. Sometimes it will, but sometimes it just won’t.

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But in this shepherding of little hearts, in these busy days with little ones, in this so important task that God has given to me called motherhood – and all that goes with it, I cannot grow weary. Even when I don’t see the good. Don’t see the results. Don’t see the reward.

The promise is that I WILL reap.

And I’m clinging to that today as I wring out my mop water. As I walk for hours with a teething, fussy baby who refuses to nap or be put down, bouncing him on my hip as I do schoolwork with my oldest. As I, for the four millionth time, help my older two learn how to resolve their differences, how to process their emotions. As I attempt to lead these little hearts – and my own – to the cross, to His grace. Over and over again. Day in and day out.

Today, instead of choosing to feel defeated, I’m clinging to the words echoing in my heart:

“Don’t be weary, mama. Don’t give up. You WILL reap.”

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