Me: (while standing in the kitchen trying to make dinner while both kids whine and fight and tug at my legs…) Listen, I’m making YOUR dinner here…can’t you two just play nice for 10 minutes?
Oliver: You’re making MY dinner? Oh, thank you mommy!
Walking into the grocery store today:
Oliver: What’s that mommy? (pointing at the painted handicapped sign in one of the parking spots).
Me: That’s painted, Oliver. It says who can park there.
Oliver: Oh. We can park there.
Me: No, only people with a special sticker can park there
Oliver: I have stickers
Me: Not your stickers, Oliver, it’s a special kind of sticker for their car that says that they can’t walk very far and so they have to park close to the store.
Oliver: We have to walk very very long. That be very sad.
Oliver: We go home and see garbage truck come on our street.
Me: Maybe it came already, Oliver. We’ll just have to wait and see.
Oliver: Hmmm…let me think…. (pause). Nope! It didn’t come yet, mommy! I know.
Oliver: (Playing with a Lego truck) I glue this mommy. So it sticks better.
Me: No, Oliver, you can’t use glue.
Oliver: Loader puts glue right here.
Me: Oliver, Legos are supposed to come apart and go back together again. That’s what they’re for. You can’t glue it or you can’t build something else with it.
Oliver (looks at me funny): I’m pretend mommy.
Me: You’re pretending to glue it? (he nods) Oh, Ok. That’s fine.
Sam walks into the room not two seconds later…
Oliver: Look daddy, it has glue on it right here!
Sam (oblivious to the conversation that just took place): Oliver, you’re not supposed to put glue on your Legos. Where did you get glue?
Oliver (clearly frustrated at his parent’s lack of imagination…) : I’M PRETEND!!!!
Oliver: (While getting ready to go for a walk) Here are my shoes! They’re green. They’re from Meijer.
Oliver: (Saying his prayers the other night after Clara’s birthday party – a friend of ours had come with her little girl, Lauren):
Thank you for Lauren…and cake.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.