Oliver is fascinated with the garbage truck. He lives for Wednesdays. Tuesday evening he and daddy drag our garbage cans out to the street, and he talks about it all night. Wednesday he spends glued to the window, waiting for the garbage truck to come. And he talks about it for DAYS afterwards. Almost everyone that we come in contact with hears about the garbage truck. He also knows all of his colors now, and is quite proud of it, so he talks about the “boo” and “geen” garbage cans, and has even learned to say recycle (which comes out sounding like eye-koh, or eye-go).
The problem with having this discussion in public is that: “Eye-go bah-gee streeet!” sounds an awful lot like “I go potty in the street.” And, if it wasn’t bad enough that complete strangers now think that my child is allowed to do his business in the middle of the road, he also informs them that it is green and blue!
If the random person he has struck up a conversation with in the grocery store assumes that he is talking about going potty (as most do) and asks him: “You go potty?!” I cringe, knowing what is going to come next.
“Potty! Poop! Pee! Pooooooooop! Bottom!”
Why, oh why must he shout so loud that people can hear us three aisles over?
We have been discussing such things in preparation for potty training – for when I feel able to tackle that one. Oliver considers himself an expert.
I graciously step away from the conversation, pushing the cart and hoping to distract Oliver by something in the baking isle.
No such luck.
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “No poop”
“Oliver, no poop!” He shakes his head, “pee!” And then, with a mischievous smirk on his face: “Gaaaaaaaaaasssssss.”
The discovery that sometimes there is a noise even if you still have an empty diaper has been a thrilling one, apparently. So now we’ve moved on from discussing garbage to discussing bodily functions. In the grocery store. Loudly.
To all of you who read this, enjoy your Wednesday afternoon! If you need me, you can find me hiding in the kitchen while Oliver shows his belly button to the garbage man and excitedly shouts to the entire neighborhood that he goes potty in the street….