Mommy Lessons

My mischievous 10-month-old, in addition to wearing me out in his non-stop adventure-seeking exploits around our house and yard, has also been teaching me some valuable lessons lately. For instance:

1. Being the mom of a little boy does not require that you have eyes in the back of your head, it just means that your 10-month old should never, ever be positioned behind your head.

2. Being the mom of a little boy DOES require a super-human ability to do many things at once. Stirring the pot on the stove while balancing the back of the chair at the kitchen table so that your son can pull up on it without falling over all while simultaneously kicking around a toy on the ground in hopes of re-focusing his attention…Pshhh – c’mon, give me something challenging!

3. Being a mom also requires super-human speed and cat-like reflexes. For times when you need to sprint across the room to catch the clothes-drying rack before it topples onto your son’s head or to grab his little fist before it can shove some small, suspicious looking object into his mouth…

4. You also need sneaky stealth-like abilities. Especially when going in for a nose-wiping. That is, unless you enjoy a wrestling match that results in snot being rubbed all over your face, your clothes, his clothes, your furniture… Yea, stealth nose-wiping is the way to go.

4. Bugs are gross. But they are more gross when you have to fish them, soggy and squished, out of your son’s mouth. Blech. (Tip: with enough practice at #3 you can grab the squirmy thing before it gets soggy…)

5. Losing baby weight is great, but make sure that your shorts do not get too loose, because inevitably your child will decide to pull himself up on your legs and grab your shorts when you are in the middle of making bread. This will result in said baby plopping unsuspectingly down on his bum & crying his eyes out while you try to frantically scrape dough off your hands in order to retrieve your shorts (which are now around your ankles) and comfort your sobbing child. EH hem…not that I would know anything about such things….

Note to self: Buy a belt. Or, don’t cook with the shades open.

6. Silence is suspicious. Always. Period.

7. Church? You thought you went to church to hear a sermon? Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
ahHAhahahaha.
whew. Excuse me for laughing. No, church is most definitely not for sermon-listening. Not any more. No, it’s for watching your number flash on the screen after about 5 minutes of worship and then sitting on the floor of the nursery or wandering the halls and praying that the pastor is not long-winded while you hungrily eye the cheerios your son is noisily crunching.

Buuut, all joking aside – though my days are very long, I can feel like I am always saying “no,” and I am constantly either preventing and/or comforting and/or cleaning up after some catastrophe or another…I have a beautiful, precious little boy that I love more than words can say. Being his mom is both the most challenging and the most rewarding experience of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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One thought on “Mommy Lessons

  1. Love this! I can totally relate. My little one just turned two and many of these still apply (with some slight changes of course).

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